Elliott awoke with a jolt, the bed squeaking as he sat straight up. Something wasn't right. A large gust of wind blew in from the window, the thin white curtains fluttering as the air cooled his bare chest. Elliott felt a chill wriggle its way down his spine, and goosebumps appearing on his arms. He looked at the ajar window, trying to muster up the energy he knew he would have to find eventually to close it. Suddenly his eyes bulged and he felt a pressure on his mind and body to move, but couldn't. He refused to believe it, that is until he saw the beast's shadow cast across his entire bed. It new it had been seen and needed no time to ponder its actions, expanding its silky black wings to cover the entire window, the creature poked its head through, grinning at Elliott as their eyes met. There was something distinctively human about it. It was the eyes, they were at the front of its head, unusual for a bird. Or was it the look, the creature had its head lowered to look at Elliott from the top of its eyes. Its beak extended the size of two rulers in front of it, and a full one in width as well. It was orange, although the tip was stained glossy red. The creature stuck a tongue out of its mouth and licked the glossy red with a ravenous, teasing look.
Elliott threw his large duvet into the air as the creature tightened its wingspan, bursting through the window. The blanket covered the savage's head, its claws reaching up to rip through the cushion with the fluidity of cutting a piece of paper with scissors. Out of his room and down the stair case Elliott bolted, closing the bedroom door while the creature burst through it right behind him. Elliott needed to find a small space, a space too small for the beast, and far enough away to keep safe from the creatures claws. The crawl space. Elliott bounded down the steps to his basement, the beast slowly following him, knocking over furniture and squawking in short rhythms, almost as if laughing. Running through the basement doors, Elliott reached the storage room, its dark and musty space packed with boxes and a large furnace. Reaching above him Elliott pulled the threadbare chord connecting to a bare light bulb hanging above him. The lights shut off, as Elliott shut the door, grabbed a saw and hammer from a tool rack on the wall and slid with all of his energy on his knees beneath the crawl space of his basement steps, his knees left raw and singed from the concrete floor. A great cracking sound resonated through the room as the beast's beak splintered through the wooden door and wiggled around. Then there was the whoosh of air, the beast was inhaling, sniffing. Suddenly it retracted its beak from the door. There was a pause, as Elliott wrenched inwards, attempting to hold his breath for just one more second. Then a piercing explosion as the door suddenly burst into fragments around the room, jagged pieces still creaking as they swung violently on their hinges. The beast stepped forward into the room and used its beak with great finesse to pull the thin chord, turning on the light. Elliott cowered in the crawl space of his basement steps as the shadow of the beast's wings eclipsed the light and its claws shot forward. Elliott screamed and shut his eyes, opening them to find the bast stabbing his claws, only to get just inches in front of Elliott. He was safe, but for how long?
Elliott began swinging the hammer at the beast, hitting one of its claws as it screeched in agony. He continued to swing violently, but to no prevail as the beast had moved backwards and now was attempting to break the wall above the space with his one good claw. Elliott looked at the saw and hammer, then at the steps above him and began beating the hollow steps ferociously, wood chips falling onto his face and blinding his vision. He was beginning to lose hope when finally the blunt end of his hammer burst through a step. He hit it again, it was now big enough for his entire wrist. Again, his arm. Again, his shoulder.
Hey Jake. I think this is a really good horror scene. I like how you used a lot description as it really helped developed emotion. For example, in the beginning, the way you establish fear in Elliot by describing the goosebumbs and chills and what not. I think you portrayed the concept of the horror story conventions well. Well done.
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